I’m Prepared to sacrifice my life…
He knew just how dangerous this was getting; with Voldemort threatening to rise to power. He could sense it in the air like a smog suffocating any slither of hope that a better future was just on the horizon. He would be lying if he said he wasn’t terrified. But he didn’t show it. Not when his wife was pregnant with his child. He knew that this entire situation was stressing her out. Not only was one of her closest friends a half-blood making her a target, but she carried the same fear that he did. Bringing a child into a world that was so broken, so fragmented. He didn’t want his future son or daughter to have to pick a side. He didn’t want them to fight the same fight he fought later on down the line.
It was why he had chosen to join in the battle, and why tonight while most lay in their bed tossing and turning over the growing real fear of Voldemort’s rise to power, he would be with Dumbledores Army, participating in transporting Harry to the burrow, a potential life-threatening mission.
Leaning against the counter, Fred’s umber gaze observed the world which lay outside the window of the burrow, past his garden into the fields where the first slithers of light were making themselves known to the universe. It was truly a melancholically beautiful scene. One which filled the young man with a mixture of hope and determination. It was in this silent moment he heard movement from behind him. Soft, pre-meditated. He knew almost instantly that it was Katie. He could tell by the rhythm of her footsteps, a rhythm he had heard time and time again, one he never grew old of.
Turning around, he could tell instantly that something was on her mind. Her eyes looked tired like they had seen too much darkness at such a young age. Her cheeks were stained with tears. Eyebrows knitting together in concern, he took a step toward her, pulling her gently into his arms. His embrace was strong, and comforting. His silent way of telling her that he was here for her, that he wasn’t going to leave her. The horror which had slowly settled over the Wizarding world. He vowed to set fire to all it all, watch it rise up in a plume of smoke. But he would never let a flame touch her, never her. He wasn’t exaggerating when he told her day after day that he truly loved her. That he would die for her. He would die 100 deaths to let her live another die.
“Please don’t go...” Her words barely audible as they passed her lips. He frowned, instantly aware of what she was talking about. Holding his wife closer, a small puff of air escaped past his lips, before planting a tender kiss against her forehead. He felt Katie adjust in the loving embrace, her arms wrapping around his neck.
“I have to baby...” He replied, keeping his voice soft. His arms which were wrapped around her waist tightened ever so slightly to let her know that she was safe with him, his thumb gently stroking her bare skin. Part of him was convinced he could already feel his child within her, though he knew it was physically impossible. She shook her head at his response, a small sob choking from the back of her throat, causing his heart to shatter. He kissed her forehead again, then once more. Eyes closed.
“What if you die, what if you don’t come back to me...” “I will.” He replied instantly, not even needing to think about his answer. Sure, he knew that there was a very likely chance that he wouldn’t return to the burrow alive. But even if that was the case, he would still come back to her. Whether it be physically, or in spirit. “I have to do this, Katie. Not only for Harry but for our child...” He explained, keeping his voice quiet while he spoke. Wanting this intimate moment to remain only between them. He waited for a beat, allowing the words to sink in before he continued.
“I want our child to be able to grow up carefree, Katie. Like we should have been allowed to...” He explained, now having to fight back his own tears, His voice was so close to breaking, but he refused to let it. He needed to be strong right now, for her. He needed to be her rock. “We may have lost our childhood years to this war. But I refuse to allow the same to happen to our child...I refuse.” He repeated, shaking his head. Planting one more kiss against her forehead, his only way of being able to stop the tears from escaping past his dark brown hues.
“You have to come back, Fred. You have to promise to come back.” Those words struck him in the heart, but it wasn’t the way she said them, or how her voice quivered when she started to cry gently once more. Or even how her grip had tightened on him, almost like she was terrified of letting him go. No, what truly hurt him was how he knew he couldn’t promise that not without it being a lie. In wars, people die. And though he wanted to reassure her that he would walk back through that door tonight, there was a high chance he wouldn’t. A chance he had already come to peace with. A chance that Fred knew Katie wasn’t ready to hear. Not right now.
Letting a small chuckle escape his lips, he pulled away slightly, catching her chin between the gentle grasp of his thumb and forefinger, looking her directly into her eyes. “Of course, I will baby, nothing can kill me. You know that, I’ll be home before you even notice I’m gone.” He replied.
Sure, he knew that it was a lie, that there was a chance he would be coming home, but not breathing. But, he was willing to lie just this once, if it called the brewing storm inside her mind.
He was ready to die, but he kept that to himself.
